The Secrets We Keep
by AllStarConverse10
Summary: It's been 7 months since Mon-El left Earth and fell into the disruption, little did he know he wasn't just leaving Kara behind, he left a part of him too. When Mon-El returns with his new wife in hand, Kara is heartbroken but is she the only one keeping a secret?
1. Authors Note

Hello Reader,

This story has undergone a complete and utter re-write as I was simply not happy with what I had written and felt some plot points were rather far fetched. The new plot lines will mainly follow the old ones however with more in-depth chapters alongside more realistic characterS (or as realistic you can get in an AU).

Thank You for sticking around in advance and I hope you enjoy the new and Improved:

'The Secrets We Keep'

Lottie!


	2. The Times We Endure

Kara's POV

I wake up clinging to the bedsheet beside me, only to find the cold space that has been empty for so many months. The memories of him flood my mind at night when my dreams take me to foreign worlds where we are together, where he's still alive and where he holds me so tight that I feel that it is real, only for it to abruptly end when I wake.

Even after all this time, the pain is still so raw and so constant that I always find myself battling the tears that threaten to fall, especially the last few weeks. Call it hormones, call it grief, call it whatever you want, but having to contend with the mental exhaustion as well as the physical has really taken its toll on me.

I eventually lift the sheet off my body and swivel my legs over the side of the bed rubbing my swollen stomach as I move, I glance at the clock on the side knowing full well what it'll say. 3.06am.

Ever since the night he left, I had woken up in the early hours every time, sometimes sobbing, sometimes feeling just empty and finding only one thing could soothe me.

I wrap my arms around my body as I scurry into the living room finding what I need on the back of the sofa; Mon-El's jumper. I slowly move onto the sofa grabbing a nearby blanket and place his jumper against my chest, breathing in his soft scent that still lingers after all these months. I feel my anxiety subside slightly and tiredness starts to claim me once again however just as my eyes begin to close I feel a sharp pain spread across my abdomen.

'Ouch baby, Mommy needs to get some rest.' I say rubbing my belly, but another kick follows. 'You are going be so strong little one!' I smile. Mon-El would have loved this, all the late night kicks, the spending sprees in the malls and seeing his child grow in front of his eyes. I grieve for all the things Mon-El will miss but no more so than the birth.

It was only a few weeks after Mon-El had left when nausea started, my breasts grew tender and when I eventually passed out on a mission, Alex dragged me into the DEO and ran every possible test. At first, I didn't believe her, I didn't want to believe her, Mon-El and I had always been careful but over the weeks the nausea was replaced with vomiting and my belly began to swell ever so slightly and so my denial turned into anguish.

At first, I didn't want to go through with the pregnancy, I convinced myself I couldn't do it without Mon-El but Alex made me realise that the baby was a piece of Mon-El and after that, there was no way I was going to terminate the pregnancy. The first few months were hard, but friends and family got me through it, no more so then Winn. Mon-El leaving had really impacted him, so much so that he wasn't himself, he was grieving just like me. We started spending more time together, and we would often have nights in on the sofa just telling stories of Mon-El, laughing and joking just like we all used to do together before, it brought me so much comfort.

I eventually adjust myself on the sofa trying to get comfortable amongst all the kicking but the baby doesn't let up so I grab my phone and start scrolling through old pictures, finding one I hadn't seen before. It's a blurry picture of me sitting on Mon-El's lap at the bar with wide cheesy grins on our faces. I trace along the picture with my finger and a silent tear slides down my cheek,

'I hope you have his eyes baby,' I wish aloud and ready myself for sleep once more but as I go to lock my phone Alex's name flashes across my screen. I don't hesitate in picking up knowing that she would only call at this hour if it was an emergency. I fumble as I slide my finger across the screen,

'Alex, what's going on?' I abruptly ask,

'Kara, can you just get over to the DEO now, it is urgent.' I can hear commotion in the background,

'Alex, what is going on? Are you okay, are-' but she interrupts me.

'Kara just get here now, he's here. Mon-El is here and he's alive.'

I drop my phone and rush out the door.


	3. Walking Away From Heartache

**Kara POV**

I arrive at the DEO, frantic and desperate to find Alex, but there's too many people,

'Alex?' I call out,

'Kara!' I hear before she suddenly bursts through the crowd, 'Look you need to be open-minded about this, I will explain soon but just come with me, no arguments.' Alex says sternly, appreciating her tone I follow her through the crowd towards the med bay. I protectively place a hand on my bump before noticing I'm wearing Mon-El's jumper, in the hurry of leaving the loft I must have put it on. I sigh in relief as I realize it's covering my bump. He must be overwhelmed after being away for all this time only to come back home, only Rao knows what adding a pregnancy declaration in the mix would make him feel.

Alex stops outside the med bay as Winn joins us but I can't see inside as the blinds are closed. The anxiety that I'd been pushing aside quickly floods my stomach, I'm almost scared.

'Alex, how can he be alive? If he were alive all this time, he would have found a way to contact me, he wouldn't have just abandoned me, abandoned us. I know he wouldn't do that so what is going on?' I cry, Alex shuffles before looking at Winn who comes to my side.

'Kara, I was alerted two days ago to a beacon emitting from underneath the North River, J'onn and Alex investigated and found a ship beyond the capabilities of this time. We tried to contact the ship but there was no reply, so we sent a team down to the ship a few hours ago, they found nine people in some kind of suspended animation including Mon-El who was already awake.' Winn explains.

'He wasn't alone?' I ask, I feel a sense of relief knowing that Mon-El wasn't on his own, that he had someone there for him, I smile briefly before noticing the uneasiness on Winn's face. "Winn?'

'Like I said Kara, the ship is beyond the capabilities of this time. The ship we found is from the future and it seems that is where Mon-El has been.'

'Okay he's from the future, but he's still my Mon-El right? He remembers us, his time here in the DEO?' The uneasiness in my gut begins to grow again. Winn only looks at Alex,

Alex grabs my hand, 'It's been seven years for him Kara, seven years since you put him in that pod and he left. Right now he's in there with his wife, he wants to see you and explain some things, and I think you need to tell him about your pregnancy.'

I feel my heart plummet in my chest,

'His wife? He's married?' Alex only squeezes my hand tighter but it offers no comfort. I feel my eyes begin to fill with tears and I fall into her arms. I begin to sob into Alex's shoulder but as I do, someone leaves the med bay and as the door closes, I see him.

I notice he has a beard and no longer looks like the young man I used to know yet he's still handsome, he looks like the man I fell in love with but I know that man is long gone. Just before the door closes I see a woman take his hand and clench it tightly, a surge of jealousy takes over me before quickly turning in pain.

'I can't do this Alex, I can't. I feel sick. I need to get out of here.' Alex releases my hand and I quickly turn on my heels heading towards the training room to find myself some space. My eyes begin to sting as I hold in more sobs, I refuse to hear anymore, I can't bare to hear any more.

I quickly walk down the stairs to the training room but as I do I hear an echo down the stairwell

'Kara?' I almost break down hearing his voice, my body stills as I clench the handrail, crushing it accidentally. I close my eyes and when they re-open he's there standing in front of me and all I want to do is to collapse into his arms but I know I can't, a look of confusion takes over his face. I almost want to run but I feel rooted to the spot,

'Kara, you okay?' I don't trust my words so I just look down at my feet, praying that he will sense my uneasiness and just leave - but he doesn't.

'It' so good to see you, I know Alex has explained a little but I need to explain to you myself what is happened, there is so much I need to tell you. I need to tell you about my-'

'Wife?' I interrupt, 'I'm happy for you Mon-El, happy that you weren't alone all this time, but this is too hard right now, I'm sorry.' I say as I hold in my tears.

A veil of silence falls over us,

'That was my favorite jumper you know.' He says pointing at me, I grimace.

'I've slept with it all these months, it keeps the nightmares of you dying away somehow.' I choke back a sob once more, 'I'm really sorry I need to go, I can't do this. .'

I rush past him and head into the training room, slamming the door behind me. I slide down against the wall and collapse in a heap on the floor, I let the sobs overtake my body once more until I fall asleep.

When I wake up I feel warmth next to me and realize Winn is leaning against the wall sleeping too, I move slightly before adjusting the pillow he must have placed under my bump, I groan in discomfort and place a hand on my bump.

"Kara you okay?' Winn asks sleepily, 'Is the baby okay?'

'I'm fine Winn, but what should I do? This is all a big mess and I don't know how to fix it. Tell me what to do Winn, please.' I beg, but he doesn't reply and simply just embraces me.

'We'll sort this out Kara, one way or another I promise, but let's get you some food eh? Potstickers for breakfast.' I smile gently before laughing.

'Sure.'

I grab my jumper and head upstairs, not knowing what the day will bring.


	4. The Kindness Of Words

**Kara POV**

Winn and I sit at his desk whilst I devour takeaway boxes in rapid succession, I can feel the eyes of several people watching me including J'onn and Alex, but I ignore them out of a need to satisfy my cravings.

'Are you going to tell him about the baby?' Winn asks and my mood drops again.

'I don't know Winn, we don't even know why he is here, I don't want to get my hopes up that he is going stay, only for him to leave again. I don't think my heart can take anymore. I don't want to raise this baby on my own but if I have to, I will.' I sigh.

'I think when you are ready, you should talk with him and find why he's come back. Most importantly at the end of the day no matter what happens, that baby is gonna have an ass-kicking agent for an aunt and a tech genius for an uncle so you will not be raising this baby alone, okay?' I smile,

'Winn I haven't said thank you for everything you've done for me these last months, you've been incredible and the best friend I could ask for. I really appreciate it, I know I always don't say it but-' I don't finish as he interrupts me.

'Kara, after all you've done for me, it's the least I could do. Now eat your potstickers, I'm trying to be a genius over here and the smell of them is distracting me.' I only laugh and do what he says.

After finishing my unconventional breakfast I head up to the roof to get some air, just as I open the door I see a woman leaning over the edge,

'I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone was up here-' I stop as the woman turns around and I notice it's her. The one who was holding Mon-El's had in the med bay.

'Oh no, it's okay.' She explains and I head closer to where she is standing, 'I haven't introduced myself yet, I'm Imra Ardeen, Mon-El's wife.' She smiles brightly at me but all I can muster is a slight smile so I hold out my hand, 'Kara Danvers.' She only smiles more as she shakes my hand.

'Mon-El told me all about you, I hope I'm not overstepping here but when Mon-El first came to the future, he spent all his time trying to get back to you, he spent years holding onto the necklace you gave him. It took a long time before he even tried to start moving on, he never forgot you, Kara, I really want you to know that.'

Imra must have believed her words would offer me some kind of comfort but they only add to my pain, to know that he never gave up, to know that he was kept sane by my necklace as I was by his jumper only added to my guilt. I spent these last months grieving, believing he was dead not even entertaining the idea that he could have been alive. I didn't even try to find him, I had given up so easily and now that he was back home I wouldn't even let him explain his story.

Imra must sense my pain as she quietly excuses herself and heads back towards the door, I turn back towards the skyline of National City and for a moment I wish I could fly, flying in the past had always cleared my mind from my troubles but now being grounded only suffocated me more.

I stay on the roof for a few hours, watching as the sun moves across the sky. I eventually realize I'm going to have to speak with Mon-El so I head towards the door, I gently pull on the handle but as I do, a fire spreads across my belly, I bite my tongue in pain. I grab onto the handle to keep myself up but it only snaps off and I fall to the floor as the pain continues to burn.

I begin to panic as the pain shows no sign of letting up so I try to grab my phone from my pocket but then I realize I dropped it after Alex's call. I cry out in pain hoping someone will hear me but no one does. Suddenly I feel liquid running down my leg and my stomach drops, I'm only seven months gone. Surely this can't be happening?

'Please someone help me.' I plead as another surge of pain crushes my stomach so much so I can no longer hold back my screams of pain. I thank Rao as I hear distant footsteps running up the stairs, I try to focus my hearing but the pain is too overwhelming. It's not long before I find Winn at my side.

'Kara, Kara whats happened?' his face full of concern,

'Water. Broke' I puff out,

'Okay okay, I'm gonna call Alex.' He panics,

Alex eventually comes rushing to the roof, and along with J'onn they get me down to the med bay but as I lay down on the bed I feel white spots beginning to fill my vision,

'Alex, I really don't feel good, what's happening? Is my baby okay?' I cry,

'Listen, Kara, this baby is in distress, we need to get it out quickly okay? I need to use Kryptonite so you're going to feel worse before it gets better. I've called Mom, she'll be here soon.' Alex tried to reassure me.

I can only nod as I grip my stomach once more, and then suddenly I hear him outside.

'J'onn what is going on? I've just seen Alex carrying Kryptonite. Is Kara hurt?' He pleads to The Martian,

'I'm sorry Mon-El I can't tell you, this is for Kara and Kara only to tell.' I hear J'onn's footsteps grow distant and my attention returns to the people around me.

'Kara, you're going to pass out okay, we're all here, and you and your little one are going to be okay.' I nod,

'Alex, are you sure the Kryptonite isn't going to hurt the baby?' Winn takes my hand and interjects,

'Kara, the baby is half Kryptonian half Daxamite, it could have a little or no adverse reaction at all okay? Either way, we've got everything to make sure it is okay.' I nod, readying myself for the onslaught of the Kryptonite, not noticing the shadow entering the room.

'What did you just say?' I hear him whisper so I look and suddenly I feel a-washed with guilt when I see the look of confusion and pain spread across his face.

 _He knows._


	5. New Comets

**Kara POV**

I look to Alex for help but she's only adding to the situation when she lifts up my jumper to reveal my bump as she attaches wires, I see him stumble back against the wall trying to regain his balance.

'You're pregnant, how can you be pregnant?' he says but I can't quite place the tone of his voice. Anger? Sadness? Fear?

Winn walks over to him placing a hand on his shoulder,

'Hey buddy, I think you need to wait outside.' He tries to guide him out the room, but Mon-El refuses to move,

'No, no I'm not moving until someone explains what is going on.' I can see his brow begin to falter, I want to say something but before I can another contraction passes over me,

'Mon-El please go, please just get out!' I half cry, 'I can't do this right now.' Mon-El looks straight at me and I see the building tears in his eyes, he quickly nods before leaving the room as I ride out my contraction.

'Kara, the fetal heart rate is too low, I don't think we can wait for Mom, we need to get the baby out now. I'm sorry,' I only can nod as I fear for my baby. Winn sensing my fear grabs my hand and gives me a weak smile as some other DEO staff come in, I immediately begin to feel queasy as the Kryptonite is placed on a nearby table.

'If something happens, if I don't make it can you please tell him I'm sorry. I didn't want it to happen like this.' I plead,

'Nothing is going to happen, you're going to wake up a Mom okay.' Alex says sternly and suddenly my eyes begin to feel heavy as Alex places the Kryptonite by my side.

I whisper 'Sorry,' one more time before the darkness consumes me.

 **Mon-El POV**

I stand outside the door listening to Kara's cries and it takes everything for me to not run back in there and take away her pain, I keep telling myself that this is all my fault. I had left her, I had left her to deal with this all on her own.

I can feel Imra watching me from across the DEO so I turn my back to peer through a small crack in the blinds to see what is happening. Suddenly Kara's cries fall silent and I can hear commotion as she starts to thrash around, no longer able to restrain myself I run into the room seeing several agents struggling to hold Kara down.

'Let me help Alex please, I can't stand out there anymore.' She quickly nods,

'Hold her shoulders down, I can't make an incision whilst she's still like this.' The agents quickly move aside and I place my hands on Kara's shoulders as green lines flash across her face. I feel so helpless and my feel my heart is in my mouth. For so many years I had tried to find my way back to Kara and now that I was here I didn't know what to do, seeing her on that stairwell when I came back, brought all those feelings I had buried so long ago rushing back.

I place my palm on Kara's cheek, trying to settle her movement and to my amazement, she stops thrashing on the bed immediately. Alex quickly grabs a scalpel and without hesitation begins to cut Kara's stomach, I look away and face Winn who shares my uneasiness.

Suddenly, a wailing cry fills the room and I look up to see a small baby covered in blood wriggling in Alex's arms.

'Get that kryptonite out of here now!' Alex shouts and quickly an agent rushes out with the box, I look down at Kara's face once more and relief floods me as I see the green flashes leave her skin. Alex cuts the cord and places the crying child into a blanket, handing it over Winn, but not before glancing at me.

Winn rushes out the room with the bundle towards the adjacent med bay, fear consumes my gut,

'What's going on? Is the baby okay?' I ask trying to hold my voice steady.

'He's a little early, we're just going to put him under some sun lamps to help him.'

'Him?' I stutter, but Alex knows there's a more important question hanging on my tongue.

'Mon-El, that is your son in there. She found out after she put you in that pod and has been a mess ever since. I swear to God Mon-El that if your presence here is going to hurt her in any way or you're going to abandon them all over again, I'm telling you to leave now. They don't need that, and sure as hell does Kara need any more pain.' She argues angrily.

I swallow the lump in my throat as she returns to Kara and begins to close her up.

'Alex, I'm here on a mission but I swear I didn't know about the baby, about our son-' I pause as I feel overcome with fear, 'I'm not going to leave them, I promise. But this mission is to protect Kara, she can't know anything.'

'Mon-El I'm trusting you here. I know you loved her and if you feel even a fraction of that now, I need you to keep your promise.' I only nod, as sunlamps are placed over Kara. 'Now go next door and see your son, I'm scared that if he grips Winns finger he'll break it.' She smiles at me, but I know she can sense my hesitancy at leaving Kara, 'She'll be okay, the sunlamps are already working. Mon-El go.' I take one last glance at Kara before heading towards the now small cries coming from the next room. I peer around the door and see Winn sitting beside the small baby boy on the bed. He notices me and gives me a brief smile,

'Hey buddy,' I try to reply but my I can't take my eyes of the little boy, 'You know I think you're going to need to pick him up, the little fella seems to be as strong as his Momma and I'm telling you those little kicks hurt.' He laughs. I walk towards Winn so we're standing side by side, staring at a miracle.

'Alex said he was small, that he needed help, that he might-' I ramble,

'He's fine Mon-El, in fact perfect. Now pick your son up, and give him a cuddle.'

I nervously place my arms under the little bundle of blankets supporting his head and his cries quickly subside much to my relief, I begin to trace his little features with my finger, taking in his likeness to Kara.

'He's perfect.' I whisper to no one in particular, and then suddenly for the first time, he opens his eyes and my heart jumps.

 _Comets_

A/N I'm sorry for the slow update, life got in the way! Please give it some love if you enjoyed it and constructive criticism is more then welcome!


	6. A Different Kind Of Love

Kara's POV

I wake up feeling groggy with a sense of loss within my stomach and begin to panic but it is quickly is overtaken by a feeling of immense love as I see in the corner of the room a sleeping Mon-El with a small baby laying on his bare chest. I smile at the scene before me but it all quickly comes crashing down as I remember the situation. Mon-El was no longer mine, and this man was not the Mon-El I fell in love with. He was different now.

Mon-El must sense my movement as he slowly opens his eyes looking down at the sleeping baby on his chest, realizing that the movement was not from the small baby on his chest he looks up, connecting his eyes with mine.

'I'm sorry, Alex said that he needed the skin on skin contact and you were still asleep, I'm-' My mind no longer pays attention as I stare down at the little one of his chest,

'You said he?' I ask as my heart bursts,

'You have a son Kara, and by Rao is he perfect.' I begin to cry, and Mon-El immediately stands tightly holding our son to his chest as he heads over to me, I hold out my arms as I force my sore body into a sitting position. Mon-El slowly places the sleeping boy into my arms and I hold him against my chest, feeling his little heart beating.

I take him in and smile at how much of a carbon copy he is of his father, he has small tufts of dark hair covering his head but I suddenly feel him stirring in my arms and as he opens his eyes I gasp, Mon-El laughs,

'I did the exact same thing, looks like there is another set of comets in the world.' I smile back at Mon-El and lean down to place a kiss on my son's head. I can tell there are so many unanswered questions lingering between us.

'Look Kara I know-' Mon-El starts but I interject

'Let's save the questions for another time Mon-El, can we just enjoy this moment okay? I didn't think I'd ever feel this happy again and I just want to hold onto it for a few more moments before I have to lose a piece of it again.' I see his face drop and he offers me a sad smile,

'I'm going to get Alex, she asked me to tell her when you woke.' I nod and return my attention to the little boy in my arms. Mon-El grabs his t-shirt, placing it back on and heads out the door, giving us one last glance.

As soon as Mon-El leaves the room, the little boy begins to cry softly,

"Oh baby, are you hungry, there you go my beautiful boy," I say as I unbutton the top few buttons of my shirt and move it aside so he can easily latch on. I begin to lose track of time as I spend the first of many precious moments with my son until there is a soft knock at the door,

"Just give me a minute" I try to adjust myself however the door opens abruptly,

"Kara?" It's Mon-El but he quickly sees what I am doing and diverts his eyes, "Sorry, erm, I didn't real-" he begins to mumble,

"Mon-El it's fine, it's a natural thing." He only nods and begins to approach us slowly.

"I know I said I wouldn't ask questions but I'm not going to lie, Kara, I'm struggling with all of this, a few days ago I was in the future and today I have a son. I'm so scared, what if we can't protect him?"

I can see the worry in his eyes and as much as I want to reassure him, I can't. I share his worries and understand that every villain in the universe is going to want my child.

"Mon-El," I whisper and I feel his eyes burning directly into mine, "Are you staying?" His face softens and he lightly places his palm on our little boy's cheek,

"When I left, I spent years trying to find my way back to you and I didn't even know he existed, there is no way I'm leaving now." I can see the tears building in his eyes,

"But what about your wife? Mon-El where have you been?" He halts his movement,

"Kara please know I tried, I tried so hard to find my way back and when I couldn't Imra helped me build a life in the 31st Century, I have so much to tell you but at the moment I think we just need to focus on him."

I can only nod as the small Daxtonian unlatches from my nipple and begins to drift off.

"You know I'm going to admit throughout my pregnancy I secretly wished for a boy, I think I was just so desperate for some kind of living memory of you. The world was moving on around me but for the first few months, I constantly felt like I was always back in that field saying goodbye to you. I was reliving that pain all day, every day. Mon-El, I know you're married and things are different now but I think we can do it, I think I can make this work for him, for me" I whisper looking down at my arms.

I feel Mon-El rubbing my back before he takes our son from my arms, allowing me to adjust myself.

"Have you thought about any names?" He asks and I stall,

'I always liked Luca but now that you're here, I thought we could decide together.'

'I like Luca, Little Luca Zor-El.'

I begin to well up, and Mon-El quickly notices,

"Kara, you okay?" I begin to choke on my approaching sobs, and Mon-El quickly places Luca gently down before pulling me up and encasing me in his arms.

I don't manage to get any words out before there is someone in the doorway hovering.

"Mon-El I need to speak to you Immediately."

He turns around to see Imra and his face quickly becomes stern. I can feel the tension within his body begin to increase.

"It's about the mission and its urgent." I begin to feel confused, What mission?

"Mon-El?"

I once again feel his eyes burning into mine. What on earth is going on?


End file.
